Disclaimer: With all readings I do, please only receive what resonates. I want to EMPOWER YOU to find within yourself that guiding wisdom of resonance. That is the purpose of these readings – not to strip your power away or for you to become reliant on external direction, but to activate the truth you already hold and bring awareness to that embodied wisdom. REMEMBER, YOU EMBODY AN INNER HEALER.
Here’s the reading…
The Wheel of Fortune shows up in the Libra position to indicate a message around relational balance of opposing forces. We received several major arcana cards in this reading, referring to the enormous cosmic evolution we are going through collectively – beginning with the Wheel of Fortune.
Whenever this card comes up for me, I take it as a reminder to TRUST and ALLOW things to unfold. The shifts are happening already, and we humans are not (read: never) the ones in control.
The two cards that follow the Wheel of Fortune demonstrate these opposing forces. We received the Son of Wands and the High Priestess in reverse. The Son of Wands invites us to revel, to be in the exuberance of our joy, gaiety, and share the magnetism of our radiant aliveness.
It’s summer here for all of us living above the Equator. Where I am in Southern California, we’re experiencing a heat wave that is going to hit triple digits in a few days. Lately, I have been grieving the Ellen in her mid-30s. The version of me who frequented a rooftop bar in Venice Beach to watch the sunset, a free spirit that road-tripped alone for two-week stretches through breathtaking landscapes, having soulful conversations about love and relationships with divinely placed people she met at bars and truck stops every evening across Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho (and so many more states) that still echo through my heart chambers.
I never told my mom about these trips until after I arrived safely back, drunk on new inspirations and a devil-may-care sense of freedom. Though she always made me promise never to travel alone again, I think she was also secretly inspired by what she perceived as fearlessness.
I have been deeply longing for the spontaneous encounters and adventures of that era of life. The kind that can only come when you’ve got zero attachments and have fully opened yourself up to the whims of the Universe. That carefree, wanderlusting Ellen has been luring me out of my monastic existence, whispering seductively for me to come out and play.
I indulged her with a spontaneous drive to San Diego to meet up a visiting old friend for dinner. And indulged her some more with a night out with my closest girlfriends in Los Angeles to watch my partner and friends perform. A few too many tequila sodas and amazing music by people I love fueled lively conversations with my favorite people in the city. I felt an igniting of joyful aliveness return to my spirit, which had been in quiet seclusion since winter, as grief and self-doubt had been taking up much space.
The Son of Wands is inviting us to play in all senses of the word. To stoke the fiery cauldrons of passion, fun, laughter, and social connectedness. To honor the currents of the warm season and let loose by flowing with them.
It requires TRUST, CURIOSITY, LEVITY, DETACHMENT TO OUTCOMES, and SPONTANEITY.
He is showing up with the High Priestess – a cosmic evolutionary force who invites us to connect to the magic of our mysterious Universe. To deepen our relationship with the benevolent Unseen forces that guide us in our lives. To quiet down so we can listen to our intuition and connect to our inner wise healer, our infinite essential being, or higher self.
Our relationship with the Unseen requires us to refine our listening skills when it comes to our subtle bodies, our spirit and emotional bodies. It requires us to learn how to RECEIVE through the expansion of our consciousness, the trust and allowance of what is already unfolding. It requires us to deepen our connection to our bodies through meditation and somatic practices like qigong to RECEIVE more information through our senses.
It requires ISOLATION, STILLNESS, QUIET, and DISCIPLINE.
We are invited to hold both archetypes within our being – to honor the tension of this polarity and give ourselves permission to embody both.
At this time, we may not be feeling like we’re making much headway with our desired creations, or in realizing the dream life we want. Perhaps you’re like me, feeling impatient and trying to find some blamable fault within myself, some reason why it’s “not working out” the way I want it to.
I’m not disciplined enough.
I’m not focused enough.
I’m not [insert aspirational quality] enough.
Every time I experience a slowing down, a murkiness in direction, a sense of confusion about where I’m supposed to go, I find an invitation to let go and TRUST.
The Hanged One – another cosmic evolutionary force – is showing up to invite us to do just that – let go and ALLOW life to unfold. Release your grip. Stop trying so hard to make shit happen. And realize that you have never been truly in control – your ego just believes that it’s in the driver’s seat navigating your every turn.
Imagine yourself in a canoe with no oars, just a tiller handle that can you can swivel left and right to shift your direction. A strong current in the water pushes you forward. You turn the handle a little to the left, a little to the right, keeping your eyes aimed ahead towards the shoreline. Sometimes the current slows down or speeds up, but it’s always pushing you forward towards that shoreline. You can make choices about how you want to steer, if you want to make pit stops to explore various little islands you pass, but you’re still headed in the same direction, moving forward towards the shoreline because of that ever-present current. You’d still be headed there even if you completely let go of that handle.
We’re witnessing the destruction of imperialist agendas and frameworks that have governed our world for centuries. We are actively challenging those in power, the realities we exist within, evaluating if they are still aligned with our values (Hierophant tilted right). The cosmic evolutionary force of the Hierophant speaks to the active dismantling of outdated models of hierarchy and power.
Many of us are passionately creating offerings that invite us to expand consciousness to perceive our lives and world differently. We are calling forth the death of the empire. But we also must realize that in our binary world, light doesn’t exist in a vacuum. We also contend with the shadow. Every desire has both light and shadow – unconscious aspects, just as we humans do.
So with the fall of the empire comes much resistance – more destruction, more unceremonious and cruel ending of life, more hate and violence, more pain that we must welcome in along with our desire for collective liberation. It has hardly been sunshine and rainbows the last four years, and things may get much more shadowy before we see the light at the end of the tunnel. Foreshadowing for the election this fall…
If we believe that everything happening is in service of our expansion and freedom, then the shadow needs to surface to show us what aspects of our collective being haven’t been integrated and are resisting change. We must meet these parts with compassion and love. That is the only way change can happen. This is true for each of us individually as well.
We must be able to express our joyful aliveness outwardly with each other, while cultivating quiet practices and rituals that support our relationship with the Unseen.
Honoring the unique medicine that is you and the unique medicine that is me. Thank you for bringing your magic here earth-side at a time when we need you most.
Always in love,
Ellen
Coming Fall 2024…
Death/Rebirth Private Mentorship Program
A 13-week companioned walk through a death portal of transformation into your rebirth. Combining somatic therapy, breathwork, grief work, microdosing, meditation and rituals, we will safely confront shadow aspects that have not been fully integrated to allow you to move forward with endings, life changes, and transitions.
I’m only opening four spaces this fall so sign up for a free discovery call to claim a spot. Limited scholarship available to candidates in need.
Private programs begin the week of September 16, 2024.
JIA Medicine Retreat for AAPI Women/Femmes
November 14-17, 2024
An intimate spirit medicine retreat in the pine-forested mountains of Idyllwild, California for four AAPI women/femmes.
JIA ( /jee-ah/ ) means “family” and “home” in Chinese. We witness those we call family move through life transitions and transformational portals. Within our chosen families, we seek safety and a sense of belonging. We seek nurturing space held for us in compassionate presence to both celebrate and grieve together.
We will walk through a death portal together, memorializing the outdated survival patterns we are shedding, nourish our bodies through home-cooked meals prepared with love, be in ceremony with spirit medicine and breathwork, and witness each other in our rebirth.
The retreat experience will include…
Opening ceremony and memorial for dying parts
Spirit medicine journey
Breathwork journey
Group writing practice
Group and individual integration sessions
Daily guided meditative movement practice
Nourishing home-cooked shared meals that honor our roots
A comfortable stay at a mountain home in Pine Cove
Celebratory feast and closing fire ceremony
Only four spots are offered for this intimate retreat. A $200 non-refundable deposit will be required to hold your spot.
All applicants will be screened through a discovery call to determine if this experience is aligned for you.
Cancer New Moon Reading