Getting Clean.

Cleanliness is about so much more than just hygiene.

I received a reel from someone in my community recently called “Guide to Opting Out of the Economy in 2025.” In this guide, they mentioned all the very sensible, reasonable things that I think we all know to do – buy local, ship less, shop used, cancel subscriptions, use libraries, etc.

But today, something landed differently within me as I read through the list. And I want to make this point because I believe there is value and impact in repeated messaging (quietly emphasizing this point to myself as I often resist publicizing my offerings more than once).

And, divine timing absolutely is a thing.

I opened up my Amazon app and began to delete my subscriptions – dog vitamins, facial toner, laundry detergent. I found other businesses to source these products from. I deleted the app.

A quick flash of a memory from a voice memo I sent to a friend earlier this week – “you can be outspoken about how someone is showing up, but your choice to continue receiving their offerings also shows that you support their actions.”

I find that what others are asking me for advice for draws out the exact medicine I am personally needing, too.

Living in a small community of less than 4000 people on a mountain has often felt like living on an island. I often have moments when I feel isolated and long to be closer to my core friend group. But over time, it has also revealed what I’m really disconnected from – the land and my body.

When we first moved here in 2021, I relied on Amazon to access all the things we needed to live like we were still living in the city. Soap, detergent, Korean facial products, tissue boxes…the list is long. It has been a one-stop-shop.

Having this app on my phone has given me this false sense of safety and security. That false sense of safety comes from the promise of Amazon – convenient and efficient access to ANY resource I could want.

Amazon gave me a false sense of connection to “civilization.”

I was enslaved to the industrial ideals of convenience and efficiency. A fast-paced corporate career in a city filled with ambitious people like LA taught me to worship time-saving. What saved my time, also saved my energy.

But this ideology had already been deeply embedded into me by my first-gen immigrant mother, who used to get so exasperated by how long things took me as a child. She had been raised by a militarized father who had served in the Taiwan army, as all young men do. So efficiency was always prioritized.

Even now in her mid-70s, she is still the worst of all backseat drivers, commenting with disapproval if I choose to take a route that has a few extra stoplights than the route she would have taken instead, extending our arrival by five minutes. From her perspective, it was five precious moments that we would never get back. I was wasting our time. I was wasting our energy.

Time was always scarce. But this frugality with time was also mirrored in her “waste not, want not” attitude towards disposable bottles, plastic containers, even the styrofoam used under raw meat from the grocery store. Each one was carefully scrubbed, sanitized, and stowed away for some unknown time in the future when they would suddenly be called into service.

She has cabinets full of these containers. I used to shake my head at her strange immigrant hoarding tendencies, unable to understand why she would go through the trouble, spending her energy saving these items. I now see it as a beautiful way she honors the Earth.

The first law of thermodynamics tells us that energy can change form, but it cannot be created nor destroyed. And if that is true, then what actually matters is what we consciously choose to do with our energy – how we use it.

My focus on efficiency and convenience absolutely saved my personal energy, no doubt. But that convenience and efficiency was paid for, even if it didn’t come out of my personal time wallet.

It was paid for by the Earth, by my increased carbon footprint and the natural resources required to fulfill my need for convenience.

It was paid for by the independent shop owners who are working exponentially harder to keep their lights on in order to stay competitive in the marketplace with a giant like Amazon.

There are many in this chain of consequences who paid for my time and energy that I can’t name because of my still-developing consciousness.

So what does all of this have to do with getting clean?

I have a ritual each year of setting intentions by naming concepts I want to focus on cultivating. This year, I named three –

Disciplined structure. Allowance. Cleanliness.

Recently, through a movement meditation class I’m taking with Amber Ryan, I came to realize that these three concepts are deeply interconnected.

Structure through discipline helps to keep my energy clean.

Cleanliness allows energy to move through me without rigidity or resistance.

In focusing on cleanliness as my necessary daily energetic hygiene, I have been going to practices like breathwork, movement, qigong, and yoga to clear and bring in fresh energy from the Earth (yin) and Source (yang). Each of these practices move energy through my body so that any suppression or density can be expressed.

In addition to my internal spaces, I’ve been more conscious about cleaning my external physical spaces – my altars, wiping down countertops, getting rid of clutter that is needlessly occupying space. Still working hard on that last bit.

I have been conscious about eating cleaner, adding more fruit to “eat my water” and stay hydrated – water carries information throughout the body after all.

But cleanliness extends beyond how we care for our spirits and bodies. It also refers to our impact – where and how we invest our energy – on the planet and in the collective.

How do we respond (instead of react) when activated by someone’s actions or non-action?

How do we choose to spend our money and time?

To whom and to what do we give our energy – who/what do we support and stand by?

It’s this last expression of cleanliness that has stopped me in my tracks today. How do my unconscious actions contradict what I’ve focused my work and platform around – returning to right relationship with the Earth and our bodies?

I’m lovingly calling myself out to get clean on these aspects of my life expression. To “get clean” is an ongoing invitation and practice within itself. And as my consciousness continues to expand, I know my habits, rituals, and practices will continue to change.

I gently invite you to also reflect on what getting clean looks like for you. It’s sobering to consider how greatly each of our unconscious choices can impact humanity and the planet. It’s part of what I call the “unworthiness epidemic” that programs us to believe we don’t matter, and so our choices don’t matter that much.

But they really do.

You MATTER so much more than you may believe.

Your choices MATTER so much more than you realize.