Get Over Yourself

A pep talk to my fellow creative perfectionists on this Scorpio Full Moon

Get over yourself.

I kept hearing this over and over in my head yesterday like a stern parent putting me in my place. And I think many of us need this pep talk right now.

I put so much emphasis on how I am perceived, doing what I can to ensure I’m understood, that I’m validated in my expressions. Cushioning requests with just enough soft padding to make it sound less demanding. Running my words through sensitivity filters so that I don’t piss anyone off.

I run my creative work through similar filters, too.

Is this essay going to land with people? What will the older gen think of the EDM in this breathwork playlist? How should I dress to show I’m professional and trustworthy to new clients? Maybe people won’t appreciate Ryuichi Sakamoto in a dj mix. Is “get over yourself” too forceful and mean??

I had a conversation with my partner yesterday about the process he’s going through in mixing his tracks. He was feeling stress about getting the mixes exactly as he wanted them. I felt frustration as I listened. I couldn’t understand why that would be stressful unless the stress was from his own expectations of himself.

Oftentimes, I find that when I feel resistance or am triggered by something he shares, it’s because there is medicine in it for me. We are both Cancer risings, deeply nurturing and protective of our spaces, inner and outer. And we both creatively express through our work. The thing I love about our dynamic is that he, an airy Gemini, always says the thing that I, a fiery Leo, have too much pride to say out loud.

He was experiencing the stress of perfectionism, and perfectionism is something I have been working so hard to break within myself. I have been learning to not give as much of a shit if I put something out that I deem imperfect. To accept that piece as a necessary part of my own growth process.

So witnessing his stress was surfacing my own. And I didn’t like feeling it. But I realized this was what I needed to face on the eve of this Scorpio Full Moon – the perfectionist within that hems and haws over every creative expression to the point of strangling the joy out of creativity. That voice that always errs on the side of not-good-enough-yet, stifling the creative flow. That ancient program that questions everything I want to do, say, make, participate in because it turns a spotlight on me, and that feels dangerous.

From the depths of my internal wisdom, these words surfaced in response –

Get over yourself.

I had to chuckle to myself. Because they/I delivered the light smack that my perfectionist self needed to snap out of their spiraling.

The truth is, no one cares that much. Even in this cancel-hungry culture. No one is watching the way we think they are. Or waiting for us to fuck up so they can call us out. No one is nitpicking the details the way we do to ourselves. No one has the capacity to deal fully with their own stuff, so why the hell would they ever be fixated on you?

It’s our own self-importance that makes the creative expression scary and stressful. Our own attachments to our images. No one really cares, but us.

I’m writing these words on stickies to put on my monitor, laptop, and bathroom mirror. I will recite it as a ritual before I write, dj, record a podcast, work with a client.

I don’t know who needed to hear this, too. But I’m speaking to all of you as well – everyone who has a dream to create something – a book, a Substack, a song, a dish, a business, a craft, a LIFE.

If you have been talking yourself out of creating for years...

...GET OVER YOURSELF.

Do it for your own joy, your own pleasure. There is no good/bad, right/wrong. Make it how YOU want it. What tastes good to you, sounds good to you, feels good to you and ONLY YOU.

It’s time, y’all. From this recovering perfectionist to the one inside you, it’s time to be audacious. To be creatively brave and daring. You already have everything you need to start, just as I do.

So let’s go, y’all!